You know many years ago I looked up the word definition to insanity. It might of said, “see insane” This part I can’t quite remember, nor do I remember the dictionary version, But this is a true story. I looked up the word and one of the meanings was, “to do the same thing over and over and expect a different outcome.”
I do not know if that word definitions is still the same, for I once looked up a certain word from a very old dictionary my Mom had around the house and the definition for such a word meant to be ignorant. I did not know what ignorant meant, so then I proceeded to look that word up also.
And it stated things like, dumb, slow thinking capability. uneducated, retard, I can not remember all the words to the tee, but do you get the point? WOW, just because you label me such things, does not mean I have to be such things. and sometimes people don’t speak perfect. They can’t speak American language, (not to be confused with English) Does not mean they are retarded. (Ignorant?)
Sometimes in life people will allow you to think certain types of things about them, because they know who they are, and who they are not, So if this is so, do your words matter?
Long ago I accepted Jesus as my Savior, and I was so messed up it took 30 years to fix me, and I do believe God is still fixing me. But, I had a lot of things wrong in me. And one of the first things I asked God to deliver me of. I didn’t want to lie anymore.
So this was good and bad at the same time. I started praying to God, I don’t know how to stop lying God, How can I answer people if I can not lie. I did pray such things. Then I heard a voice. it said, “if you have to lie then perhaps you should not do things you are ashamed of.”
I thought I was crazy, Who said that? I don’t know, but ok God, That’s what I said, I mean you pray to God and hear something reply, and I don’t know what you call it, I call that voice God. They tried to say I was crazy, that was many years ago. I do not think you can all the way say, such things now. For so many stars are openly admitting praying to devils, and what not, and so many others saying they hear God.
YAY! THE WORLD HAS FINALLY JOINED ME! WE ARE ALL CRAZY NOW WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! At last! I finally am normal!!! Wait, umm, I think that is what them crazy folks say also. Anyways I am happy! 🙂 Welcome to my world guys! 😀
Well the prayers worked, and so did the advice, “kind of” Because then I only pick and chose what I would do. As long as I don’t lie about it, I can keep doing what I am doing, Is how my brain received the message. 🙂 So then I became so bold, about my smoking, about my drinking, not mention AA also had my mentality thinking the same way also.
Hey first step is denial! I am not denying anything. Do you smoke weed? YES! Do you drink? YES! Hey, I am not ashamed to admit it! UGHHHHH. That mentality haunted me for a lot of years. So many years back and forth and God would deliver me, I prayed one time to take away all craving and it totally worked! I even tried to sneak a cigarette, Like God couldn’t see me, Man, it tasted so nasty!!!
But all the time I went back to them. That is written in the Word, it is like a dog going back to his own vomit. After a few times, God did not deliver me of them. It took a lot more work and I am being honestly.
I haven’t been doing that stuff, I been walking away from it slowly. I think God made me do my own work, because this time I was well and beyond knowledge in God, I should of known better, But I made up excuses, as we all do, I am sure to continue to do things, we shouldn’t be doing.
Sorry you can’t hide anything you do in this world from God. But even somehow God used this foolishness for His own good. I can tell you a good way to quit now, Say no and no and no some more, and eventually all your no’s will be no. I don’t write this for people to play with their sin. I truly do write it praying somebody out there reading is tired of their addictions, and knows it is killing them. Hey man, YOU CAN DO IT!
You know they make AA for a reason. It really helps to be around people trying to quit, just as Church my friends the same concept applies, and also please take God with you! For God is really the number one answer, but what if a man lack faith? Is God suppose to love them less? I believe that is why such things like AA exist. AGAIN YOU CAN DO IT! I SPEAK IN LOVE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! I pray this message really be a blessing to somebody out there reading like the former me. Jesus is good to follow, Have a blessed day!